[FACTCHECK] Is the K-pop industry letting up on its crackdown on love?
Is dating actually banned in K-pop?
Every now and then, K-pop agencies are seen “asking for fans’ understanding” or even apologizing when news of their artists dating gets out.
Dating has long been considered a taboo in K-pop, a market filled with young stars promoting themselves as not just celebrities but a real person who could potentially be your friend, family or even romantic partner.
Should an artist be apologetic to their fans or lie about finding someone they love?
If it takes too long to address a rumor about a relationship or a statement uses the wrong expression, be prepared for the wrath of diehard fans. News of celebrities dating almost always results in criticism from fans, albeit not all of them. Such negative reactions often lead to tangible consequences such as decreased album sales, protests or even a boycott of the artist’s activities.
Knowing full well the potential hazard of what dating can lead to, agencies are said to ban their idols — as they’re referred to in K-pop — from dating altogether, leading to rumors of non-dating clauses in contracts or trainees’ phones being confiscated to make it impossible to meet anyone.
But with times changing and awareness on human rights rising, what are K-pop companies actually doing to control the uncontrollable?
Banned from love
The bottom line: Companies are loosening their grip on celebrities, but aren’t letting go of their hold.
Until a couple of years ago, the two most prevailing rumors in the industry were that K-pop companies had trainees sign a non-dating clause in their contracts for the first three to five years after their debut, and have their phones taken by the company and can only have access to them every few weeks or months.
Should they fail to abide by the rules, then the forfeit is quitting the band and the agency.
No company has ever confirmed such rumors, which would be an apparent violation of human rights. Still, stars have jokingly testified to these claims in their interviews.
“We were banned from dating for three years,” members Sana and Jeongyeon said on an MBC talk show in 2016, a year after they debuted in 2015. “We’ve been active for a year so we have two more to go.”
But times have changed significantly, industry insiders say. In fact, while companies do try their best at keeping their youngsters from dating, most measures have been softened so they stay on the verbal level and never bind anyone contractually.
“If we had such clauses written out in our contracts, that would mean a legal nightmare if anyone takes us to court,” said an insider who worked as an idol manager.
Being the sensitive issue it is, all sources agreed to comment under strict anonymity.
“The company is just usually very specific about the consequences of what can happen if they’re caught dating, because it will happen anyway. But rather than just dating, the lesson is about the general work ethic — things that they should know that could ruin their careers.”
The ground rules trainees are taught from day one include: Don’t text at official events; Don’t wear matching clothes with a person of the opposite sex; Don’t post anything that hints to you dating on socials; Don’t ever come to the same official event with your partner; Don’t mention the word dating in interviews or on talk shows unless you’re very specifically asked.
Punished for love
The consequences of getting caught are quite real.
In August 2019, local entertainment news outlet Dispatch reported that Jihyo of Twice and singer Kang Daniel were dating.
Fans from both sides took to social media to express their anger, which especially focused at Kang, who had just recently made his solo debut. He had sold 460,000 copies of his debut EP “Color On Me” (2019) within the first week of its release — a record for a solo debut — but that number almost halved for his next album “CYAN” (2020) which sold 261,000 copies in a week.
The couple broke up a year and three months later, but some still face backlash even years down the line.
Fans of EXO held an LED truck protest on May 26, demanding that members Chen and Chanyeol quit because they have been disrupting the boy band and betrayed fans.
Chen revealed in 2020 that he has a girlfriend whom he was set to marry and that the pair had a baby together. Chanyeol was accused the same year of cheating on 10 different women while he was dating a woman who claimed to have been in a relationship with the EXO member for three years.
The two members both posted hand-written letters of apology, but fans still remain furious — hence the LED trucks that drive around SM Entertainment’s headquarters reading, “Chen, Chanyeol quit the band you’ve damaged. Stop deceiving the fans. We don’t need a bad apple in EXO.”
“The best thing for companies would be to prohibit idols from dating, because that’s never been good news in K-pop,” said an insider who has been in the industry for over 20 years.
“But that’s not possible these days especially because they have Wi-Fi everywhere and they can message each other if they want to in secret. So what we do instead is advise them on how to do it ‘properly’ — meaning not get caught, or be on their best behavior in places they could get caught.”
Don’t get caught
So what can an agency do to make sure the stars are dating “properly”?
They start by accepting that love just can’t be stopped.
“It’s celebrities’ and idols’ No. 1 rule to keep each other a secret,” said Hyuk, a member of boy band VIXX during an iHQ talk show in 2021.
“[Management] companies now fully understand that people don’t not date because you tell them not to. So instead, they make the reservations for you and plan out a course where they can best assert control. It’s their way of saying, ‘We’d rather take charge of you here rather than have you caught somewhere weird.’”
The change comes in tandem with a recent and unfortunate news of Moon Bin, a member of boy band Astro who died in April at the age of 25. He was found by his manager at his residence and the police said the singer seems to have died in an apparent suicide.
No notes were revealed indicating that he suffered from the harsh K-pop system, but the industry had gone through major changes with the death of young stars in the past, such as late singers Jonghyun of boy band SHINee, Sully of girl group f(x) and Koo Ha-ra of girl group Kara.
“The industry as a whole is becoming increasingly aware of the importance of respecting each individual and taking care of their mental status,” an insider, who also wished to remain anonymous, said.
“For instance, it was impossible for idols to go on holidays before, but agencies now let them take some time off for a while. Rather than forcing them or molding them into one unified shape, we’re coming to respect that they are all human beings with each different qualities that must be protected.”
BY YOON SO-YEON [yoon.soyeon@joongang.co.kr]