[WHY] Korean couples like to put a ring on it, but without the legalities
Korea’s marriage rate is shockingly low and continues to spiral downward, yet countless people throughout the country can be seen with a ring on their left ring finger, even teenagers wearing school uniforms.
In Korea, there is yet another way for romantic partners to show their commitment to each other, aside from marriage or engagement: couple rings. Though the concept may seem strange to those unfamiliar with it, getting couple rings in the early stages of a romantic relationship is completely normal to many Koreans.
Local jewelry store chains like Lloyd, O.S.T. and Minigold have all made couple rings more easily accessible by making a specific section for couple rings both on their websites and in stores.
But one key concept to keep in mind before diving into the culture behind couple rings is that it is entirely casual. The rings are more like a celebration of hitting a certain milestone in a relationship, nothing like the Western engagement in which a significant other offers a ring while asking for their lover’s hand in marriage.
Who wears these couple rings?
Based on the rings’ popularity, virtually any young couple in their teens or 20s may likely be wearing one of these bands on their left ring finger. An ancient superstition stated that there is a vein that runs directly from that finger to the heart, though that thought has since been debunked.
In Korea, it’s not at all uncommon for a couple of even just a few months to decide to get matching couple rings. Commonly celebrated milestones, such as an anniversary or the 100th or 200th day into the relationship, are often commemorated with the bands.
“So many teenagers these days wear matching rings with whomever they’re dating. It’d be easier to name the couples who don’t wear couple rings than those who do,” said 18-year-old Lee A-yeong, who lives in Seo District, Incheon.
Couples in their 30s or above, however, may be more reluctant to wear couple rings than younger couples because it may be misinterpreted as a hasty sign of wanting to get married.
Shim Jae-won, 31, a teacher who lives in Songpa District, southern Seoul, says that he only has plans to get rings when he is ready for the ultimate next step. Currently, he has a girlfriend of five months.
“I’ve never had couple rings in any previous romantic relationship because I’ve just never really been a fan of them. But I will consider getting wedding rings later in life,” Shim told the Korea JoongAng Daily. “I don’t think I’ve seen other couples in their 30s get rings [before tying the knot] either.”
How does the couple ring system work? Does it involve a proposal?
In most cases, no. One person may try to surprise the other on an anniversary as a gift, or the two may discuss it beforehand and go to a jewelry store together to pick them out.
Ye Min-ji, 24, an office worker who lives in Cheongju, North Chungcheong, is well into her fifth year of dating her college sweetheart.
“I told him first that I wanted to get rings, and I suggested we pick them out together. Though, we just ended up getting the ones that I wanted,” Ye said with a laugh.
From the initial decision until the final purchase, every step in getting couple rings can be as easy as picking out any other gift and does not necessarily require an extravagant event, much less an actual proposal.
Why are couple rings important to Korean couples?
To Koreans, couple rings are a way for couples to flaunt their love for each other to the world. At the same time, it’s a way to make it clear that neither you nor your partner are available to anyone else.
“I decided to get couple rings to make it obvious that he has a girlfriend,” said Ye. “Also because I knew I was going to keep dating him. I like how I feel at ease even if we’re not physically in the same space at the moment, because we’re wearing the same ring.”
“I think the most natural way to express the fact that you are in a committed relationship is by couple rings,” said Lee. She and her boyfriend have been dating for about a year and six months.
“I think it also helps maintain trust and reassures couples when they wear rings and meet other people, especially of the opposite sex,” she continued.
Despite her positive standpoint on couple rings, Lee said that she has actually not been able to buy couple rings with her boyfriend yet, due to the price.
How much are couples willing to spend on rings?
Wealth plays a large factor when a couple decides whether or not to buy couple rings, as well as how much they are willing to pay to purchase a specific kind. Price ranges can generally be divided according to age range, like teenagers and those in their 20s and 30s, but the economy always has an influence on customers’ choices as well, according to You Kyung-min, CEO of Y Jewelry, a jewelry shop in Namdong District, Incheon.
“It’s not as high in demand as before,” said You. “Like for instance, even a couple of years ago, bitcoin was all the rage. I’ve had lots of young customers come into the store and tell me how they had earned some cash with bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Their wallets were not as flat as they are now. And the economy speaks for itself — prices of pure gold were much more affordable and accessible in the past.”
As of Feb. 17, the market price of gold was 76,060.59 won per gram. On Dec. 4, 2015, the price went as low as 39,134.9 won per gram, meaning that in less than 10 years, the cost of gold has practically doubled.
You said that since couples in their 20s are mostly university students or new job recruits, they spend up to around 500,000 won ($400) to 600,000 won for a pair, while those in their 30s, when considering marriage, shoot up even higher, to over 1 million won for a pair.
Shim, the 31-year-old, agrees that 1 million won is an ideal price for couple rings. Twenty-four-year-old Ye, on the other hand, she said she bought their pair of rings for around 260,000 won total.
“For [high school] students like us, the cost is a bit steep,” said Lee, the 18-year-old. “I’d like to save up money with my boyfriend and buy rings before the new semester starts.” Lee enters university in March.
Since jewelry stores tend to be too pricey for young customers, many nowadays prefer one-day craft workshops where couples can customize their own rings, which are oftentimes more inexpensive and, of course, unique.
Are couple rings the only way to declare your love to the entire world?
No. There is a myriad of matching couple gifts for couples to share, from pajamas and cell phone cases to shoes and wallets.
On handmade product platform Idus, there are many different creative items targeted toward couples. One example is a customized fake ID card that playfully verifies one’s relationship, which can be made by sending in pictures and simple information like names and birthdays. Others include a bucket list wall sign of 100 things couples should do together, and couples can even request witty acrostic poems of their partner’s names for a couple thousand won.
But couple rings remain the exemplar couple gift, with jewelry stores, like Y Jewelry, attesting to the cliché that the most popular accessory couples opt for are rings.
“About 98 percent of customers who come in as couples purchase rings,” Y Jewelry’s CEO You said. “Only the remaining 2 percent buy matching bracelets or necklaces.”
Are couple rings only unique to Korea?
In Western countries, Korean couple rings could be said to be an equivalent of “promise rings,” but these still signify more of a promise than is implied by simple Korean couple rings, meaning that after the promise rings, in the future the relationship will develop into an engagement and, ultimately, marriage. There are also debates on who can wear the promise rings — some claim only women, and others claim both partners.
Back in 2017, when singer Miley Cyrus and actor Liam Hemsworth were dating, Hemsworth was reportedly wearing a promise ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. At the time, Cyrus’s mother denied that they were married. The pair eventually tied the knot in December 2018, though they broke up eight months later.
In Asia, Japan has a similar concept to that of Korean couple rings. Japanese couples also get couple rings — referred to as “pair rings” — early in their relationship, as they also count up to the 100-day anniversary, especially the younger generation.
“Pair rings are worn to ‘share’ a couple’s energy with each other,” Aya Kudo, a Japanese teacher who lives in Korea, told the Korea JoongAng Daily. “However, they are usually worn on the right ring finger, since the left is intended for wedding rings. Pair rings are also worn to claim that your partner is taken.”
Japan goes the extra mile to differentiate rings intended for marriage and weddings, which are called nyuseki yubiwa, which translates to marriage registration rings. These are for both spouses and are typically worn after the couple has become legally married, regardless of whether they’ve had a wedding ceremony.
Although couple rings in Korea are by and large worn to simply indicate one’s relationship status, nowadays people have started becoming more aware of the fact that rings may be a bit more serious after all.
“Rings are a symbol of a commitment; a declaration to the world that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with your partner,” Shim said. “Like choosing a lifelong partner requires prudence and careful judgement, I think it should be the same with rings.”
Ye also got couple rings with her boyfriend four years and seven months into the relationship, because she “wanted to establish solid trust in the relationship” before deciding to mark her left ring finger.
“I’ve seen friends who bought couple rings when they had barely been dating for a month,” Lee added. “Of course, they broke up already. I think it’s more meaningful to wear couple rings with someone you feel like you will spend the rest of your life with.”
BY SHIN MIN-HEE [shin.minhee@joongang.co.kr]